Infinite Heart
by makovitza
Summary: Bella has created a happy life for herself in La Push. But when an unexpected meeting with some long-lost friends causes her comfortable life to be thrown into disarray, will she have to choose between her husband and the man she can't forget? NM AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Before we start I have to say a huge thank you to the amazing JMeyer and her Project Team Beta, who held my hand through the scary process of preparing this, my very first fanfic chapter, for submission. Thanks, guys, for your detailed feedback, patient willingness to answer all my inane questions, and especially the wonderful encouragement you gave this new, and very nervous, author. You are all kinds of awesome!**

**So you've probably guessed from the summary that this is a New Moon AU fic, and assumes that the Cullens never returned to Forks.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_Marianne Dashwood was born to an extraordinary fate. She was born to discover the falsehood of her own opinions, and to counteract, by her conduct, her most favourite maxims. She was born to overcome an affection formed so late in life as at seventeen, and with no sentiment superior to strong esteem and lively friendship, voluntarily give her hand to another…_

The sound of excited voices caused me look up from my book, albeit reluctantly. I shook my head, struggling to drag my thoughts away from 18th century England and back to present-day Port Angeles. I never ceased to marvel at the ability of a good book to transport me to another time and place. Jane Austen's world was sometimes more real to me than my own.

"Maybe I really was born in the wrong century," I thought to myself, not for the first time. I sighed and laid my battered copy of Sense and Sensibility open face down on the arm of the recliner. Even surrounded by new books, I still liked my old ones: they were comfortable and familiar, like an old shoe. In addition, I took a certain amount of pride in their obviously worn condition. It showed that they had been read and re-read, carried around in coat pockets, backpacks and handbags, always ready to whisk me away to another world at the first opportunity. Books were meant to be enjoyed, not treated like objects of art.

The jingling sound of the door bell signaled the arrival of a customer, effectively jolting me out of my reverie. I stood up just in time to see Claire burst into the store, towing Quil behind her.

"Come _on_, Quil!" she urged. "Surely it must be here by now. It's been almost a _week_!"

I stifled a giggle as Quil rolled his eyes at me over her head. "Hey Bella," he said. "Busy day?"

I didn't have a chance to answer before Claire dropped Quil's hand and flew around the counter to throw her arms around my waist.

"Auntie Bella," she squealed. "Is it here? Did it come?"

I grinned as I gave her a quick hug, then stepped back and tried to compose my features into a look of disapproval.

"Really, Claire. You shouldn't throw yourself at people like that! You're getting to be such a big girl now, you might knock someone over!"

There was some truth to my words. At eight years old, Claire had recently experienced a growth spurt. Her head nearly came up to my chin now. Nevertheless, I knew she wasn't fooled by my mock disapproval. She pouted, unimpressed by my equivocation.

"Auntie Bella!" she pleaded.

I let the smile inside me break across my face and nodded. Claire gave another squeal and began to bounce up and down with impatience. Reaching under the counter, I handed her a brown paper bag with her name on it. Eagerness made her fingers clumsy, and she tore the paper in her attempt to get at its contents. Discarding the torn bag without a second thought, she clutched the book to her chest and danced over to Quil.

"Skating Shoes," she breathed.

Quil made appropriately impressed noises, clearly enjoying her excitement. He might not share her passion for all things ice-skating, but anything that made her this happy was alright by him.

Claire looked up at me. "Will you read it to me, Auntie Bella?"

Quil frowned. "I don't think we should bother Auntie Bella any more, Claire-bear. She's working. Maybe I…"

"That's okay," I interjected. "It's been a slow day anyway. I'd love to read with Claire. However," I said looking at her, "I think a big girl like you should be reading to _me_, not the other way around."

I sat down again in my reading chair – the huge recliner that had been a present from Renee and Phil when I opened the bookstore. There was plenty of space for Claire to curl up next to me. She turned to the first page and began to read.

"Even when the last of the medicine bottles were cleared away and she was supposed to have had con… con…"

"Convalescence," I supplied. "It means getting better after you've been sick."

"Convalescence…" I could see her mentally filing away the word for future reference "…Harriet did not get well…"

Claire continued to read, meeting all the characters I remembered so well from my childhood love affair with Noel Streatfeild's books. I had read them all, although Ballet Shoes had been my favourite. It had inspired me to beg Renee for ballet lessons, and although my innate clumsiness had quickly dashed my secret dream of becoming a ballerina, I had compensated by living vicariously through the characters in my books. In some ways, I think the girlishness of my chosen reading material had comforted Renee when it became clear that I was not interested in clothes or makeup or even boys, at least not until I moved to Forks. She, on the other hand, had been interested enough for both of us – flitting from one relationship to the next before she finally found Phil and settled down, at least in the romance department.

A sudden movement in my peripheral vision caused me to look up as Quil lowered himself silently and sinuously to sit cross-legged on the floor. For such a large man he moved with surprising grace. At least, it would have been surprising if I hadn't been aware that he was a werewolf, and physical dexterity was the least of his surprising talents. The ability to transform at will into a huge brown wolf, to communicate telepathically with other members of the pack, to heal almost instantaneously from wounds that would cripple the average human - even these abilities no longer elicited any feeling of surprise from me. They were part of my everyday experience. I was a "wolf girl", just as much as Emily, Kim, or even Claire.

I looked down at the little girl in my arms, then across at Quil again. His eyes were fixed on Claire, his expression familiar but difficult to describe. There was definitely contentment – as if he could happily sit there all day just watching her. However, the emotion was shot through with an indefinable sense of vigilance. I wasn't sure if it was in his posture or his expression, but I could tell that a part of him was constantly alert, as if on the lookout for anything that might threaten the child. There was also a hint of… I guess it could only be described as possessiveness. He was utterly confident that she belonged to him, although I knew that if a time came when she did not want him around he would respect her choice. She would never make that choice, though, because the final emotion emanating from him was pure, unadulterated love, and I knew from experience how irresistible that sort of devotion could be. There was no hint of desire in Quil's eyes, that would come later. But it was clear that there was nobody more important to him in the world than the precious little girl snuggled up against my side. She was his imprint, just as Emily was for Sam, and Kim for Jared - and I for Jacob.

I smiled a little at the thought of my husband. At first none of us had realized he had imprinted on me. For the rest of the pack the process had occurred as soon as they came in contact with their imprint after their first transformation to wolf-form. However, for some reason in Jacob's case the imprinting did not manifest until years later. Sam had a theory about that. He believed that, since the wolf instinct is to put the needs of the imprint above all else, the imprinting could be delayed if it would be unwelcome or would cause pain. Of course, when Jacob first discovered he was a werewolf, I was so emotionally traumatized that I could not have coped with the unspoken demands of being someone's imprint. My smile faded as I thought about that horrific time. Thankfully, I had cultivated a self-defense mechanism which prevented me from reliving the pain of those dark years, but I knew the emotional scars still remained. They were the dark threads running through the tapestry of my life, yet I could not bring myself to resent them. They added depth and definition to the picture, throwing the bright colours into sharp relief.

And the last few years had definitely been a bright period in my life. Jacob was good at repairing things, and he had helped me to slowly and painfully put the pieces of my broken heart back together. He truly was my personal sun, and I eventually followed the light and found happiness in his arms. I would never forget the first time I kissed him. It was a rare sunny day, about three years after the Cullens left Forks, and we were rock-scrambling on La Push beach. It was a hazardous exercise for someone as uncoordinated as me, and the results were predictable. I slipped and fell, sliding into a ravine between two huge boulders. I was not hurt, barring a few scrapes, but was unable to find a way out. Jacob climbed down to help me, and when he put his arms under mine to lift me out, the nearness of his hot, half-naked body suddenly stimulated urges I no longer thought myself capable of feeling. I breathed his name and he froze mid-lift, my face for once level with his. Acting on impulse, I braced my feet against the rock and threw myself against him, my lips finding his. He did not respond for a second, probably paralyzed with shock at my forwardness, then he gave a little moan and pressed his body towards mine, pinning me to the rock and deepening the kiss. I could still remember the taste of salt on his lips, whether from sweat or sea-spray I was not sure, the roughness of the stubble on his top lip, and the way the warmth of the sun-drenched rock paled in comparison to the feverish heat of his skin. It had been a defining moment for us. I had expected my mind to protest, to scream that he was the wrong man, that the action was in some way a betrayal. In reality, the only thought in my mind, when indeed I could think at all, was the blinding realization that my love for Jacob was no longer encompassed by the bounds of mere friendship. For Jacob, it was the moment in which his imprinting kicked in, and his teenage crush escalated instantaneously to an all-consuming love and devotion.

After that there was no keeping us apart, and Charlie had been ecstatic when we announced our engagement six months later. He was less pleased about my decision not to go to college, but to use my college fund and a bank loan to open a bookstore in Port Angeles. However, he finally acknowledged that it seemed a good fit. Jacob needed to be near the pack, I had always loved books, and Port Angeles needed a bookstore that catered for more than just the New Age crowd. We had a little cottage on the reservation just down the road from Billy. It was far enough away that we had some privacy, but close enough that we could still provide the help and support he needed. It was a simple life but a happy one. The pack and their respective mates formed a large and fiercely loyal family. It might not have been the family I once dreamed of having, but there was no denying I loved them all dearly. Responding to the thought I dropped a quick kiss on Claire's head, causing her to pause and look up at me questioningly. I smiled at her.

"Keep going," I encouraged. "Harriet hasn't even made it to the skating rink yet."

She eagerly returned to her reading, but I noticed that my mention of the skating rink caused Quil's eyebrows to draw together. It wasn't quite a frown, rather an expression of concentration, as if he was trying to solve a difficult puzzle. I made a mental note to ask Jacob about it, then promptly forgot as the time on the large wall clock caught my eye.

"Whoa! I hadn't realized it was so late." Quil was on his feet before I had even finished the sentence.

"Yeah, we should be going. Gotta get this little one home for dinner. Come on Claire-bear. Time to go."

Without giving her time to object, he scooped her up in his arms and headed for the door.

"See ya, Bella."

"Bye Quil. Bye Claire. Enjoy the story."

Quil acknowledged my farewell with a cheerful nod, but Claire had her nose in her book again and gave no sign of having heard me. I smiled, knowing she was already in another world – a world in which children little older than herself twirled and glided on flashing blades across a field of clean, white ice.

I locked the door behind them, flipping the sign so the "CLOSED" side was facing outwards. Quickly counting the contents of the till, I threw the money in the safe in the back room, retrieved my helmet and leather jacket and rushed out the back door, checking my watch as I went. As much as I loved to ride, I wished that it didn't take an hour and a half to get back to the reservation. The bike under me roared to life, tuned to perfection by my skillful husband and just as eager as I was to be on the road. I opened the throttle and eased the clutch out a little, feeling the bike fighting the brake like a racehorse champing at the bit. I laughed as I released the clutch completely and the bike sprang forwards in a cloud of dust and gravel. I was going home.

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**A/N: This is my first story, so I'd love to know what you think! But even if you don't review, thanks so much for reading! :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Once again I have to thank the incomparable JMeyer and her wonderful Project Team Beta. They do the most amazing job!**

**Thanks also to everyone who left reviews on the first chapter. It means so much that you took the time to send me your thoughts and encouragement.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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I had meant to go straight home, but as I neared Billy's house I saw a familiar figure standing in the middle of the road. Panicking, I slammed on the brakes, bringing the bike to a screeching halt inches from my husband's huge frame.

"What the…? What are you doing standing in the middle of the road? What if I hadn't seen you in time?" I realized my voice was muffled by the helmet, lessening the impact of my rant. I yanked it off, glaring and kicked the side-stand into position with unnecessary force. Jacob just looked amused and a little patronizing. I could almost see the thought running through his head, _My little spitfire. She's so cute when she's mad!_

His expression made me even madder. I opened my mouth to give him another blast of my fury, but he was quicker. Lifting me off the bike with embarrassing ease, he held me close to his chest.

"Shh, baby. Relax. I was in the garage and heard the bike coming. I didn't want you to come home to an empty house, that's all. There was never any danger. It takes more than a motorbike to damage tough ol' Jacob."

I assumed his tone was meant to be soothing, but it made me grit my teeth. The fact that my feet were dangling uselessly a foot from the ground didn't help. I hated feeling helpless. To make matters worse, his enormous hands were covered in motor grease.

"This is not about you. You're not the center of the universe, you know. What do you think might have happened if I'd tried to swerve? Not everyone is unbreakable like you! Now put me down – your hands are filthy! It's bad enough trying to get the grease stains out of _your_ clothes - I don't need _mine_ covered in the stuff!"

I broke off as I realized I was once again standing on solid ground. Jacob was staring at me with a stricken expression. I felt a little twinge of guilt. In truth, my anger _was_ a reaction to the danger he had been in, as irrational as that might have been. Concern for my own safety was rarely uppermost in my mind, as evidenced by my inexplicable attraction to dangerous "mythical" creatures. Still, it had been a foolhardy thing for him to do, and he _had_ gotten grease on my jacket. I folded my arms and waited for him to apologize. I didn't have to wait long.

"Bells, honey, I'm so sorry! I didn't think. You know I would never mean to put you in danger!" He hung his head, looking for all the world like an overgrown schoolboy discovering the unforeseen consequences of a practical joke. The corners of my mouth began to twitch, but I wasn't ready to relent just yet, so I pressed my lips together firmly. Of course, that meant speech was out of the question, so I simply waited for him to continue.

"Look, babe, I know it was stupid. I'm a first-class idiot! You should know that by now. I just couldn't wait to see you. Quil told me when you left Port Angeles, and I've been counting the minutes until you got here."

The desperation in his voice was tugging at my heart-strings, and his mention of Quil reminded me that I had a question to ask him. My irritation evaporated, and I decided to put him out of his misery.

"It's okay, Jake. I know you didn't mean any harm. I guess I'm just tired and irritable. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Jacob's face lit up at the words and he enveloped me in one of his crushing bear hugs. I considered trying to break free to protect my jacket from further grease stains but decided the damage had already been done. Plus, I loved hugging Jacob. I loved the feeling of his strong arms encircling me, pressing me against his hard, muscled torso. It made me feel calm, safe and warm. Not only because of the feverish heat that constantly radiated from his body, but also because there was an inner glow that came from knowing I was loved, completely and unconditionally.

I snaked my arms up his chest and linked my fingers at the back of his neck, lifting my face to be kissed. He bent his head and pressed his hot mouth to mine. There had been a time when that alone would have been enough to make me weak at the knees, but daily exposure to the experience had inured me somewhat, and I simply felt a sense of comfort and intimacy.

I moved my head slightly, breaking the kiss, and whispered, "Come on, sweetheart, let's go home. I want to talk to you about something."

"Okay. Just gimme one sec."

Jacob released me and bounded away in the direction of the garage. I wandered over to the front window of the house and peered in. Billy was sitting in his wheelchair, beer in hand, engrossed in a baseball game. The bad moustaches and grainy footage made it clear that it was a classic match. I was trying to decide whether to tap on the window to get his attention when a pair of huge, and this time mercifully clean, hands grabbed me around the waist.

"There's no point." Jacob chuckled in my ear. "You know you can't get a word out of him when there's a game on."

He pressed my helmet into my hands and began to walk towards the bike. I pulled the helmet over my head as I followed, fastening it securely under my chin. Climbing onto the pillion seat, I threw my arms around Jacob's waist. The bike groaned a little under our combined weight, but Jacob's expert touch applied just the right amount of throttle, and it sprang forward gamely. I mentally cursed the helmet which prevented me from pressing my face into Jacob's bare back as we rode. I briefly wished I was a werewolf and could show contempt for the risk of road trauma. Actually, being a werewolf would have more benefits than just the freedom to ride without protective gear. Given my history of injury, I could really use an enhanced healing ability. Or – even better – lightning reflexes and hard, impenetrable skin.

I shook off the thought, a little annoyed at myself for even allowing it to cross my mind. Instead, I focused on how I was going to ask Jacob about Quil. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to come up with a plan before we arrived home, so in the end I just blurted out my question as soon as we got inside.

"Jake, is there something going on with Quil?"

His eyes narrowed slightly. "No, I don't think so. Why?"

"Oh, it's probably nothing. It was just that Claire and I were reading her new book, Skating Shoes, at the store today. Quil was listening and he looked… well, not really worried, but like he had something on his mind."

Jacob's expression cleared. "Oh, that sounds about right."

I waited for him to go on, but he turned and headed for the kitchen. I knew there was something he wasn't telling me, but I wasn't sure whether to pry. The fact that the wolves were connected telepathically when they were in wolf-form was useful at times, but sharing each other's thoughts was both a responsibility and a burden. The pack was very sensitive about sharing each other's secrets. Still, the look on Quil's face had disturbed me, and it was possible Jacob's exit wasn't a symbolic end to the conversation, simply the call of an empty stomach. I decided to make one more attempt to extract information but resolved to diplomatically drop the subject at the first sign of a rebuff. I followed Jacob into the kitchen and found him rummaging through the fridge. He soon emerged juggling a couple of steaks, a head of lettuce, a bag of tomatoes and a cucumber. Grabbing a knife and cutting board, I began to make a salad while he handled the meat. I picked up the conversation where it had left off.

"So, is it something we can help him with?"

Jake looked confused for a second, which I guessed meant that he had moved on to thinking about something else. But it didn't take him long to connect the dots. He shook his head.

"I don't think so. It's just that this ice-skating obsession of Claire's has got him down."

He paused to grab a clove of garlic and some black pepper from the pantry. I idly sliced the cucumber as I pondered this revelation, waiting for him to elaborate.

"She really wants to learn to skate, and he hates it when he can't give her everything she wants. Don't worry, I'm sure it's just a phase, and she'll grow out of it soon enough." He winked at me. "Of course, he's not going to be any better off when she asks for a pony!"

I laughed. "You're right about that! Where did this skating obsession come from anyway? Has she ever even been to a skating rink?"

Jacob's strong fingers massaged the steaks, rubbing garlic and pepper into the tender flesh. "I think the movie Ice Princess has a lot to answer for! And no, I don't think she's been to a rink. It's not like they're common in this part of the world. I suspect the closest one is in Seattle, unless you want to head to Canada!"

"There's a roller-rink in Port Angeles. I don't suppose…?"

"Nope, Quil's already tried that. It's got to be ice, apparently."

I sighed as I wandered over to the sink to wash the lettuce. "Poor kid. Maybe next time I have to go to Seattle to meet with my book supplier, I'll take her along and we can drop into the rink."

It was just a throwaway line, but Jacob responded with an unexpected degree of enthusiasm. Maybe Quil worrying about Claire was more irritating for the rest of the pack than I had realized.

"Hey, great idea! It would really make her year, I bet. I'll mention it to Quil. He's going to owe you big time!"

I wanted to reply that it would be nothing compared to the debt I owed the pack but decided that would just make Jake uncomfortable. So instead I just smiled and nodded, then went back to chopping tomatoes.

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**A/N: Sorry about the delay on this chapter. I can only offer the usual pathetic excuse that real life got in the way. But chapter three is pretty much ready to go, so I promise to get that up in a much more timely fashion.**

**So, we got to meet Jacob in this chapter. I can't wait to hear what you thought! Thanks for reading :-)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Once again, a huge thank you has to go to the billiant JMeyer and the superb Project Team Beta!**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Five weeks later it was time for my periodic visit to my book supplier in Seattle. Sarah took all the hard work out of buying stock, saving me the trouble of meeting with sales representatives from publishers and distributors, assessing their sales pitches and negotiating discounts. Every couple of months I would drive to Seattle and we would grab chai lattes and pore over catalogues. I had a pretty good idea of what my customer base liked, but relied on Sarah to keep me up to date with the latest trends. She was artsy and unpredictable, but sharp as a tack and with a great nose for the next big bestseller. Every now and then she would declare that the "city blues" were biting, and save me the trip by meeting me in Port Angeles. On this occasion, however, we had decided to meet in Bremerton. Not having to cross the Sound meant a shorter drive for me, and Sarah assured me she could find productive ways to fill the hour-long ferry ride from downtown Seattle. Most importantly, there was an ice rink in Bremerton. The plan was for Sarah and me to hold our meeting in the café at the rink, while Claire tried out the complimentary beginner skating class. I really hoped the café was heated. I hadn't been to an ice rink since I was twelve, but remembered them being cold and wet. Ugh!

It was no surprise that it was raining on the day of our trip. I had long since made my peace with riding the motorbike in the rain, but was nevertheless pleased that taking Claire with me gave me an excuse to borrow Jake's Rabbit. I was a little apprehensive about how I was going to entertain an 8-year-old during the three hour drive, especially one who looked as if she was about to burst with excitement. I need not have worried. She rapidly discovered that my understanding of figure skating was even more inadequate than my understanding of baseball, and undertook to remedy the situation by describing all the major jumps and spins in exhaustive detail. Thankfully after about an hour she tired of this exercise, and buried herself in Sasha Cohen's autobiography.

By the time we reached Bremerton it was midday. Sarah's ferry arrived at 12:30, and I was planning to eat lunch with her at the rink, but Claire was hungry so we grabbed her a burger while we waited. Soon enough, we spotted a rainbow-striped umbrella heading our way. I threw the door open and a damp but typically cheerful Sarah landed in the passenger seat. Five minutes later we had crossed Manette Bridge and were heading up the hill towards the skating rink. We pulled up in front of a sprawling red and grey building that proudly proclaimed its identity as an ICE ARENA in large blue neon letters. Claire was practically buzzing with anticipation now. She would have dragged me to the door if I wasn't already running to get out of the rain. We burst into the lobby and stood panting, waiting for Sarah and her rainbow umbrella to catch up. The elderly lady at the office window smiled indulgently at Claire's obvious excitement. I handed her the money for Claire's admission and skate rental, and she directed us through a double set of heavy steel doors.

"Here you go, darling," she said, handing Claire an orange plastic token. "Give this to the young man at the skate room, just on your right through the doors. The Ice Café is on the left, but no skates are allowed. The beginner lesson starts in 10 minutes."

"Thanks," I said over my shoulder, as Claire had grabbed my hand and was pulling me in the direction indicated. "Meet you in the café, Sarah!"

I had barely enough time to register her nod of acknowledgement before we were through the door and inside the ice rink. The air was crisp and my breath was immediately visible as a thin mist in front of my face. The waist-high barriers were blue with red trim. Beyond them lay a glassy sheet of white ice, its perfection marred only by the red and blue hockey markings. A number of skaters were moving around the rink with varying degrees of proficiency, and in the centre I could see two girls practicing their spins. There was a small group at the far end of the rink, clustered around a tall blonde man who had his back to me. I assumed he was the instructor.

There was a sudden gust of air as the door banged shut behind us, making me jump and almost lose my footing on a patch of half-melted ice. I saw the instructor's back stiffen with disapproval and I dropped my eyes to the floor in embarrassment, my cheeks suffused with colour. I kept my eyes down as I followed Claire to get her skates. The floor was covered in interlocking rubber mats, and boasted a veritable minefield of blade-shaped wet patches and small piles of melting ice. I picked my way carefully to where Claire was chatting with a young man about my age. He handed her a pair of white lace-up boots, and she hugged them to her chest. He smiled at her, then looked at me.

"Make sure to tie them tight at the bottom of the ankle so they're stable, but a little looser at the top so she can bend her knees. Does she have gloves?"

To be honest, it hadn't occurred to me. I raised my eyebrows at Claire and she nodded, pointing to her backpack.

"Yes, thanks. Anything else we should know?"

"Only to keep to the edge, and stay away from the kids who are spinning. You don't want to cop a blade to the face. Also, watch for the coaches and try not to get in their way while they're teaching. When you're skating, bend your knees and lean forwards. Oh, and if you're going to fall, always try to fall over forwards – it's way less painful to fall on your knees than on your tailbone, and you don't risk cracking the back of your head against the ice. That's about it. Do you have a token?"

"What? Oh, no, I'm not skating." I blanched at the thought. "Ice and the uncoordinated don't mix."

He laughed. "It can't be that bad."

I grimaced. "You have no idea." Then I smiled again. "Thanks for the tips."

"No problem."

I looked around for Claire. She had bounced over to one of the benches next to the barrier and was eagerly untying the laces of her sneakers. I helped her put on the skates, repeating the instructions I had been given by Skate Guy. She nodded, then jumped up, steadying herself against the barrier before moving confidently to the gate. When she stepped onto the ice, however, her confidence evaporated as her feet appeared to develop minds of their own. She hugged the barrier and looked up at me, her eyes a little panicked.

"What now?"

I had no idea, but took a guess. "It looks like the classes are at the other end, so maybe spend the next few minutes working your way down there, getting the feel of the ice. Then the teacher can show you what to do next."

She nodded and began to inch her way along the barrier. I took a seat and watched her progress. Sarah would understand if I didn't join her until the class started. My attention shifted to the other skaters. A couple of boys were flying around the rink with great speed but little style, their arms flailing as they fought to keep their balance. In motion they looked somewhat competent, but I soon discovered that their method of stopping involved crashing full-tilt into the barrier then grabbing it for dear life as their feet flew out sideways. The girls in the middle were standing close together and chatting. Occasionally one would do a spin, then stop to be critiqued by the other. The group at the far end had broken up into pairs, and they were now making their way around the rink doing what looked to be the equivalent of ballroom dancing on ice. The instructor went first, and the relative incompetence of his partner could not mask the exquisite fluidity of his movements. He glided down the far side of the rink, his blades making no noise as they cut into the ice with every curve and turn, each step perfectly in time to the slightly tinny music being piped over the PA. I stared at his feet, mesmerized by the beauty of the dance, and by the intricate patterns he carved into the clean ice. It wasn't until he was nearly level with my seat that I lifted my eyes to his face. When I did, it felt as if the whole world stopped, including my heart. My breath caught in my throat and the muscles in my chest began to contract like a vise, crushing my now-motionless heart and lungs. I blinked rapidly, my eyes moving in and out of focus as my brain tried, unsuccessfully, to process what it was seeing. Then the dam broke and suddenly my mind was screaming his name, so loudly that I'm sure if I could have moved at all I would have been covering my ears with my hands. Instead, all I could do was sit and stare, motionless with shock. I was barely aware of what I was doing as I whispered his name, my lips forming the sound that was filling my head.

"_Jasper!_"

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**A/N: Does the thought of Jasper on ice skates make anyone else weak at the knees, or am I just weird?! :-D**

**Thankyou for reading. I can't wait to hear what you thought!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: ****As always, a huge thanks to the incredible JMeyer and her fabulous Project Team Beta!**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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I knew he could hear me, but he showed no reaction as he swept effortlessly past where I was sitting. I stared at his face, drinking in every detail as if it were not already indelibly etched in my memory. The perfect, angular beauty of his pale features, those piercing golden eyes framed by impossibly long blonde lashes, the purple shadows under his eyes, the way a few strands of his honey blonde hair fell across his forehead. It was all exactly as I remembered. His lips were moving, murmuring something to his partner. Perhaps he was counting time, or reminding her of the steps. She was looking up at him, her lips slightly parted, a somewhat dazed expression on her face. Or maybe dazzled would be a better word. I could definitely relate to that feeling.

A small part of me found the thought faintly amusing, but I had no desire to smile. Any moment now the familiar pain would begin to wash over me, but I tried to keep it at bay by filling my mind with other thoughts. Like how strange it was that he was holding a human in his arms – Jasper, who only a few years ago had been unable to come within a few feet of me for fear of succumbing to the baser urges of his vampire nature. I wondered what had changed, or whether his control was simply increasing with the passage of time. I marveled at the perfection of his career choice. What better place for a vampire to hide than an ice rink – a sunless world where the freezing temperatures made cold skin ubiquitous and, in addition, all personal contact was made through gloved hands? The fact that he could skate did not surprise me in the least. All vampires were, by human standards, impossibly fast, strong and graceful. The most difficult part for him was probably the effort it took to not appear too inhumanly good, or to ensure he did not lose concentration and accidentally crush his partner. The poor girl had no idea of the danger she could be in.

I realized that train of thought was leading towards memories I would rather not dwell on, memories of a time when I had been in that sort of danger. I continued to watch Jasper as I searched for another topic to occupy my thoughts. It occurred to me that, despite the exquisite perfection with which he was executing the dance, there was something wrong with the picture. I decided it must be his partner. She appeared to be executing the correct steps, but she was just a little too slow, a little too stiff, her movements a little too unpolished. Then it clicked. It wasn't anything she was doing, it was who she was. She wasn't Alice. I had never seen Jasper with anyone but Alice in his arms, and it looked all wrong. In my mind they were inseparable, yet here was Jasper gliding across the ice with another woman. Did Alice know? Did she care? Was she even in his life any more?

I turned my head, searching the rink for the tiny pixie-like figure I remembered. She was definitely not on the ice. I would have noticed anyone as graceful as I imagined Alice would be. There was a group of people – I assumed they were parents – sitting at the far end of the rink, but again nobody fit the description I was looking for. I had just decided that she was obviously not at the rink when I heard a sweet, familiar voice behind me.

"Hello Bella."

Alice was standing in a doorway I hadn't noticed before, but which boasted a sign designating it as the "Coaches' Room". She was smiling, but her eyes were uncertain. There was a little crease between her eyebrows as she stared at me, as if she was trying to read my thoughts – and failing. That didn't surprise me, as even I could not make sense of the jumble of thoughts and feelings that filled me in that instant. Confusion, anger, relief, pain, joy, and probably a hundred other emotions I couldn't identify surged through me. I said nothing, waiting for one particular feeling to become dominant, to give me a clue as to how I should respond. Instead, the whirlpool of emotion continued to churn within me, the pressure building until I could stand it no more. My eyes filled with tears, a single drop escaping from the corner of one eye and rolling slowly down my cheek.

"Oh, Alice," I breathed. "I've missed you so much."

The next instant she was at my side, taking me into her arms. I sobbed into her hard shoulder, feeling one tiny yet muscular arm cradling me to her, the other stroking my hair. She could not cry, of course, but her ragged breathing told me all I needed to know. Her words only confirmed what my heart already told me.

"I've missed you too, Bella."

We clung to each other for a long moment as my sobs gradually subsided. The suddenness and intensity of the emotion left me exhausted but content. The gaping hole in my chest had not returned. On the contrary, a piece of my heart, one which I had not even realized was missing, had been restored. A small voice inside me told me the feeling could be temporary, that she had left me once and could do it again. But I squashed the fear, concentrating on the sense of wholeness I felt in that moment. I sat up, extracting myself from her embrace but taking one of her cold hands in mine, unwilling to completely break the physical connection.

"We have so much catching up to do." The phrase was disturbingly inadequate, but it was the best I could do. Then a thought occurred to me. "Although, you probably already know all about me…"

It was phrased as a statement, but she saw the question in my eyes. She gave the high, tinkling laugh that I had missed so much.

"No, Bella, I haven't been watching you." Her eyes grew serious. "He made me promise not to and, to be honest, it hurt too much."

I nodded. I understood completely, although the emotion in her voice surprised me. Vampires were easily distracted creatures, so I had assumed any pain she had felt over our separation would have been temporary at best. I also appreciated her sensitivity in not mentioning Edward by name, but it was unnecessary. There was a time when his name had caused me unspeakable pain, but over the years I had taught myself to simply remember the wonderful time we had enjoyed together, repressing the pain of its ending. After all, how many people ended up with their first love? I had been lucky enough to experience two great loves in my life, and the second had healed me sufficiently that I was able to think back on the first with some degree of nostalgia. I decided to let Alice know that her concern was misplaced.

"So, how is Edward?" Her eyes widened a little at the casualness with which I said his name. I kept my expression serene, trying to reassure her with my eyes that I really was okay. She opened her mouth to answer but, before she could say anything, there was a loud crash as something barreled into the barrier beside us. I gave a startled gasp, but Alice just squeezed my hand and waited, an amused smile appearing on her lips. I followed her gaze to where a pair of tiny hands had a death grip on the top of the barrier. Soon, a shock of unruly dark-blonde hair appeared, followed by a pair of huge brown eyes and a cute, freckled nose.

"Miss Alice, are you giving the lesson today?"

Alice stood in one graceful motion. She seemed taller than I remembered, and I realized she was wearing a tiny pair of white skates with turquoise plastic guards over the blades.

"Yes, Benji. Just let me get my gloves, and I'll be with you in a second." She gave my hand a quick squeeze before releasing it. "We can catch up afterwards. Your friend will be waiting for you."

_Oh crap. Sarah!_

I began to gather up Claire's shoes and backpack as Alice disappeared to the Coaches' room. Benji peered at me over the barrier.

"Miss Alice is my favourite coach," he confided. "Some of the kids think she's a bit weird, but I think she's wonderful!"

"Yes, she is," I agreed. "Enjoy your lesson."

I scooted to the Ice Café as quickly as I could without slipping and breaking my neck. As I rushed through the door a delicious warmth enveloped me. In all the excitement I had forgotten the temperature, but now I realized the freezing air, and Alice's cold embrace, had chilled me to the core. I scurried over to where Sarah had ensconced herself in a booth, mentally congratulating her for choosing the one closest to the heater. She had an open ring binder and a cup of steaming coffee in front of her. Various catalogues were strewn across the table. I began to apologize as I slipped into the seat opposite her, hoping my face was not too tear-stained. She cut me off with a casual wave of her hand.

"I know you don't drink coffee, but I think chai is beyond the scope of this café, so you might have to make do with ordinary tea. Here's the menu – I've already ordered."

Her tone was brisk and professional, but she was smiling so I knew she wasn't too upset with me. I picked something at random from the menu, calling out my order to Skate Guy, who had reappeared behind the counter. It was rude, but the café was empty and he didn't seem to mind, just giving me a cheery wave. I glanced quickly through the window and saw that Alice was on the ice, surrounded by a gaggle of primary-school aged children. As I watched, she glided over to where Claire was still attached to the comfortingly stable barrier. Her nose wrinkled slightly as she approached, but she shook it off and smiled broadly, holding out both hands. I waited until Claire had hesitantly placed her hands in Alice's and was being towed forward to where the rest of the group was waiting, then I turned my attention to Sarah.

"I'm sorry, where were we?"

"Have you ever heard of Cate Kennedy…?"

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**A/N: ****Surely you knew Alice wouldn't be far behind?!? :-D**

**Thanks for reading! I can't wait to hear what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: As always, a massive thankyou to the amazing JMeyer and her marvelous Project Team Beta. **

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Two hours later I was once again sitting by the window in the Ice Café. I had dropped Sarah back at the ferry terminal, somewhat proud of myself for managing a productive meeting despite the momentous events of the day. Claire was still on the ice, practicing her forward stroking as Benji skated backwards holding her hands. They both looked unsteady, but as yet there had been no serious mishaps. Claire had to be tired, but every time I asked she just looked up at me with shining eyes and asked for ten more minutes. So I let her skate. After all, who knew when she'd get the chance again?

Even as I asked myself the question, I knew the answer. Now that I had found Alice again there was no way I was letting her go – even if I had to drive for three hours to see her. Claire was going to be amazed at my willingness to support her skating obsession! The thought made me smile.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I nearly jumped out of my seat. Alice was standing over me, wearing a huge smile. Jasper held her hand. He was also smiling, although he looked slightly preoccupied. I realized he was reading my emotions, probably looking for any hint that they were unwelcome. I let the joy I felt at their presence well up inside me, causing my face to break into a goofy grin.

Jasper relaxed immediately, and his smile broadened. He spoke in a low, musical voice. "May we join you?"

I nodded eagerly, and Alice immediately sat down opposite me, sliding along the seat to make room for Jasper beside her. He leaned back and stretched his long legs out into the aisle. I'd never seen him so relaxed in my presence, but just in case I began to slide across my seat, giving him a little more space. I had barely begun to move when he leaned forward and touched my hand, causing me to freeze mid-slide.

"It's okay, you don't have to do that. Things have changed. I'm not a threat to you any more."

"It's not that … I just thought you'd be more comfortable if I wasn't so close."

He nodded. "That's very considerate of you, but there's really no need."

"Why? What has changed? Don't I smell good to you any more?"

I must have sounded a little put out, because he laughed. "Actually, Bella, you kinda stink. But underneath all that your blood smells as delectable as ever. I'm just not as susceptible as I used to be." He looked at me earnestly, willing me to trust him. "In fact, you had something to do with that."

I had wanted to ask him why I smelt so bad, but his cryptic final statement distracted me. Alice shot him a warning look, but I couldn't make out his low and rapid reply. I looked at him questioningly and saw him take a deep breath.

"Look, Bella. I really need to apologize for my behavior last time we met."

I grimaced at the memory, but shook my head. "There's nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault I'm too uncoordinated to open a present without cutting myself!"

He smiled at my self-deprecating tone, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You're too kind. But after that night I was a real mess. I couldn't believe I nearly attacked you – one of my own family! It was my fault everyone had to leave Forks! None of us wanted to leave. It nearly killed me to see Alice torn away from her best friend!"

The pain in his voice tugged at my heartstrings. I wanted to protest, to reassure him, but my brain was too busy processing what he was saying. Best friend? I looked at Alice. She gave a little shrug and reached out to hold my hand as Jasper continued.

"That wasn't the worst of it, Bella. The pain of knowing it was my weakness that drove you and Edward apart was stronger than any thirst. Our "diet" hasn't been a problem for me since then." He gave a cold, mirthless laugh.

My head reeled. He called me part of the family? I had been Alice's best friend? I had so many questions, but first I needed to set him straight about something.

"Look, Jasper. I hope you haven't spent the last six years beating yourself up over one moment of weakness. Although, I guess if it helps you live the life you want to live then it's not all bad. But you need to stop blaming yourself for what happened between me and Edward. It wasn't your fault he… he didn't love me."

My voice shook a little at the end, but I looked steadfastly into Jasper's eyes, trying to convince him of the truth of my words. He looked uncertain and opened his mouth as if he was going to say more, but Alice jumped in.

"She's right, Jazz. It's not your fault." She rolled her eyes at me. "I've been telling him that for the last six years. Maybe he'll believe it coming from you."

Her voice broke the tension and suddenly I felt as if a load had been lifted off my chest. Jasper's words didn't really change anything, but somehow it made all the difference to know that even if Edward hadn't wanted me, the rest of his family had. Well, maybe not Rosalie. But Jasper had considered me part of the family, and apparently I had been Alice's best friend. The burden of rejection I had been carrying with me for the last six years was suddenly lightened, leaving me with the most absurd feeling of happiness.

Jasper looked at me as if I was crazy, but finally the corners of his mouth began to turn upwards in a genuine smile. "What in the name of all that is holy did you find to make you happy in all of that?"

I felt a little sheepish, but the whole baring-the-soul thing seemed to be catching. "You called me one of your family. And Alice's best friend."

I didn't see Alice jump the table, but she must have because the next thing I knew she was hugging me again.

"Ah, Bella," she murmured into my hair. I felt her lips press gently against my temple, then she sat up and grasped my shoulders, turning me to face her. "You haven't changed a bit, have you? Still so unwilling to believe that people actually care about you. We all missed you so much."

I felt my eyes grow hot, but I refused to spoil the happiness of the moment with maudlin tears. Blinking rapidly, I cocked an eyebrow and gave a little smirk. "Even Rosalie?"

Alice dismissed her sister with an imperious wave of her tiny white hand. "Even Rosalie, in her way. Now come on, fill me in on everything. What have you been doing for the last six years?"

"Just a moment, Alice. I have one more question for Jasper."

He looked at me in some trepidation. I put my hands on my hips and tried to look offended.

"What do you mean, I stink?"

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**A/N: Thankyou so much for reading! If you have a minute to let me know what you think I would really love to hear your feedback!**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**My sincere apologies for the update fail! I can only offer the usual excuse of real life getting in the way (I had to go to the extreme measure of banning myself from fanfiction during my exam period!). However, chapter 7 is ready and waiting so I'll submit it for validation as soon as this chapter is posted. Hopefully that will help make up for my poor effort over the past couple of weeks!**

**As always, a huge thankyou to JMeyer and her fantastic Project Team Beta, and also to my Twilighted Beta, qjmom.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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I had never been so thankful for the remoteness of the reservation before. The three hours it took to drive home gave me barely enough time to process the events of the day - especially as Claire spent the first half hour babbling excitedly about the rink, Benji and her lesson with the amazing "Miss Alice". Thankfully she eventually succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I mentally replayed my every interaction with Alice and Jasper, from the instant I first saw Jasper on the ice to the moment the PA announced the end of the public skating session and brought our tête-à-tête in the cafe to an end. It had been a rollercoaster ride of emotion - the shock of our sudden reunion, the pain of Jasper's tortured apology, the joy of discovering they had never stopped caring for me. I wondered briefly if the Cullens were designed specifically to upset my emotional equilibrium. I continued my mental replay...

* * *

"What do you mean, I stink?"

Jasper looked embarrassed. "Ummm... well, you kind of smell like wet dog."

I held a lock of hair to my nose, but as always all I could smell was my strawberry shampoo. "I don't smell anything."

"I guess it's not detectable to human senses, but we can both smell it. It's pretty disgusting. Have you gotten a dog?"

Suddenly it clicked, and I burst out laughing. "Something like that."

The idea of Jacob as my pet dog was hilarious, but so were their dumbfounded expressions. It was kind of refreshing to see my amazing vampire friends at a loss for once.

I thought about blurting out the truth, but somehow the words "my husband is a werewolf" would not form on my tongue. I wasn't even sure if it was my secret to tell. However, the Cullens knew the wolves existed - they had made a treaty with them two generations earlier - so I made a split-second decision to see if they could guess the truth. That way I couldn't be accused of ratting out the pack to vampires - their mortal enemies. Even if they were "friendly" vampires.

"You might have noticed I'm married." I held out my left hand, showing off my ring. Alice made appropriate oooh-ing noises, but Jasper wasn't so easily distracted.

"Congratulations. But what does that have to do with getting a dog?"

"Well, Jacob and I live in La Push...on the reservation." I saw them stiffen but went on anyway. "He's a Quileute."

The shock and revulsion on their faces told me they had put two and two together before I had even finished the sentence. It was almost ludicrous how quickly their minds worked.

"Your husband is a werewolf?!" Alice hissed, verbalizing what they were both thinking.

"Yes." I suddenly felt defensive. "Why are you looking at me like that? Are vampires the only mythical creatures I'm allowed to hang out with?"

They looked taken aback. "But...werewolves!" Jasper almost snarled the word. "Nasty, dangerous creatures!"

That was nice, coming from someone who had tried to kill me last time we met. I felt myself getting angry. Yes, they were dangerous. Emily was a continual reminder of that. But so were vampires, and I didn't like the double standard.

"Jacob would never hurt me," I said coldly. "He loves me more than life itself! The wolves have never tried to harm me, which is more than I can say for your kind!"

As soon as the words left my tongue I was sorry. Jasper's eyes closed in pain, and Alice instinctively reached for his hand. She stared at me as if she could not believe that I could be that cruel. I couldn't bear the disappointment I saw in her eyes, and suddenly I was desperate to say something - anything - that would remove the stricken expressions from their faces.

"No! No! You don't understand!" The words tumbled over themselves as I hastened to explain. "I wasn't talking about you, Jasper! I was talking about James... and Victoria."

Jasper's eyes flew open. "What does Victoria have to do with anything?"

I hesitated. I didn't really want to relive that story, but it was too late now. Plus, I needed the vampires to understand how much Jake and the pack had done for me. Sighing, I gave them the CliffsNotes version.

"Victoria was angry with Edward for killing James, and she mistakenly thought I was his mate. So after you all left she came after me - mate for mate I guess. Laurent was helping her." I couldn't resist adding, "If it wasn't for the werewolves you hate so much they would have succeeded. Anyway, the pack...ah... took care of them. I owe the wolves my life."

Jasper gave a low whistle and leaned back against the seat, his face a granite mask. Alice had her head in her hands. A little moan escaped from her lips, and I couldn't resist the urge to put my arms around her tiny shoulders.

"It's okay, really. All's well that ends well."

"No, it is not okay!" Her voice was shaking. "I can't believe I didn't see that! Sure, I wasn't trying to watch you, but still, I should have seen that coming! When I think of what we did, leaving you alone and exposed like that..." A note of despair crept into her voice. "I'll never forgive myself."

It killed me to have caused her such pain. Was it not enough that Jasper had suffered six years of crippling guilt on my behalf? Part of me wanted to run - to grab Claire and flee to the reservation, where I couldn't hurt them any more. But I wasn't that strong, and I couldn't leave Alice in her current state. I tightened my grip on her shoulders and tried to shake them, but she was as immovable as stone.

"Alice, please don't be like that." I poured as much feeling as I could into my voice, pleading with her to listen to me. "I shouldn't have told you that. I didn't mean to send you on some sort of guilt trip. I just wanted you not to hate Jake. He's done so much for me, and I love him!"

It was like speaking to a brick wall. She was lost in her own thoughts. I gave up and just sat watching her glumly, my chin in my hand. When she finally spoke I wasn't sure if she was speaking to me, or to Jasper, or just to herself.

"Edward was right. You would have been better off if we'd never come to Forks. I don't think I ever believed that until this minute."

Her words hit me with the force of a heavy blow to the chest, fracturing the carefully constructed defences around my heart. I fought against rising panic, desperate to prevent the familiar pain escaping from the cracks. I saw Jasper's face twist into a grimace as he registered the intensity of my emotion, although his eyes never left Alice, whose face was still a picture of despair.

It was too much - too much pain. I had to do something! I put my hands on Alice's shoulders and exerted every ounce of my strength trying to turn her to face me. She didn't move, but turned her head to look at me. I counted that as a small victory.

"Alice Cullen, don't you ever say that again!" My voice was fierce, although it cracked a little as I went on. "I'm sure it would have been better for _you_ if your family had never come to Forks, but _I_ would be nothing more than a dent in Tyler Crowley's back wheel arch right now! There are so many things I would have missed out on. I would have never had the chance to fall in love, or even to have a best friend. Your family is the best thing that ever happened to me!"

I could see that my words were reaching her this time. Something that looked like hope sparked in her eyes, and she stared intently at me.

"Do you really believe that, Bella?"

"I do." I looked deep into her eyes and told her something I had never even told Jake. "When I was in that meadow with Laurent, knowing what he was about to do, I was scared as hell. But for all that I wouldn't have changed a thing. I would have died content, knowing that I had really lived, even it was only for a short time. There is no way I would have been better off without you!"

I paused, waiting anxiously for her reaction. She looked at me for another long moment, then her eyes flickered to Jasper. Whatever she saw on his face must have reassured her that he was detecting no hint of insincerity in my emotions. She gave a little sigh and closed her eyes, finally allowing her body to relax into my embrace.

"Thank you, Bella."

"Hey, don't mention it. What are best friends for?"

She said something fast and low to Jasper, then sat up.

"I'm sorry we were so harsh about the... the Quileutes earlier." The words were an effort, but I could tell she was sincere. "No matter what we might think of their... kind... as a whole, the fact remains that they were there for you when we weren't, and I'll always be thankful to them for that. I hope you and your Jacob are very happy together."

"Me too," Jasper quietly seconded her generous speech. Then he gave a little chuckle. "Even if he does make you smell like a dog."

It was not really a joke, but I laughed anyway to break the tension. I was a little exhausted from the emotional strain, and it occurred to me that Jasper must be feeling worse, as he had to deal with emotion from all three of us. I steered the conversation to safer topics.

"Thanks guys. Yeah, we're happy. We've got a lovely little house down on the reservation, close to all his friends and family. We see Charlie every week and Renee and Phil a couple of times a year. I own a bookstore in Port Angeles..."

* * *

I stared at the white markings on the road as they disappeared under the hood of the Rabbit. It wasn't any easier to deal with my emotions the second time around, and I wryly castigated myself for being a glutton for punishment. I wondered, not for the first time, why vampires and werewolves hated each other so much. To some extent I understood the wolves' perspective - their whole existence was dedicated to protecting the humans of their tribe, and the vampires were the predators. Yet the Cullens had held to the treaty for years now, surely proving that _they_, at least, were no threat. On the other hand, the Cullens' attitude to the wolves was similarly unreasonable - what was it about them that disgusted the vampires so much?

Maybe it was beyond reasonable explanation - a hard-wired impulse like bloodlust or imprinting. Maybe it was simply part of their natures to hate, as difficult as it was to associate that word with my sweet Jacob or darling Alice. If so, was there any hope? If the Cullens could overcome their bloodlust, could they overcome their hatred for the wolves also? Could the wolves ever see the Cullens as friends, the amazing exception in a race of ruthless killers?

There had to be a way. I refused to choose between my husband and my best friend. Somehow, they were going to have to learn to at least tolerate each other. My happiness depended on it.

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**Chapter End Notes:**

**Well, there you go. Hope you enjoyed! :-) Jake's reaction coming up in chapter 7...**

**xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: As always, a huge thankyou to JMeyer and her incomparable Project Team Beta.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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As usual, Jacob was waiting for me when I arrived home. He was sprawled across the couch with a can of soda in his hand. Quil was in the armchair, his eyes, like Jacob's, fixed on a generic action movie playing on the TV. I walked in just in time to see a presumably nameless minion dispatched by a carrot through the eye and groaned at the lame one-liner that followed. The boys grinned at me.

"Quality viewing, guys." I leaned against the door frame and used my best long-suffering wife tone.

"Claire made Quil watch Ice Castles again last night. I'm just helping him reclaim his masculinity."

Jacob's innocent expression made me laugh.

"Fair enough. But dinner won't make itself. You staying Quil?"

"Only if you don't mind. But don't worry about dinner - we didn't want to make you cook after your long drive so we've ordered pizza. How was your day?"

I answered the question I knew he was really asking.

"Claire had a ball. I'm sure she'll tell you all about it. I couldn't get her off the ice until they kicked us out! I think it exhausted her, though. She slept most of the way home." I hesitated, then added, "She even made a couple of friends. I think I'm going to have to take her back sometime."

"You don't have to do that..." His protestation was half-hearted. I knew he was thinking about how much Claire would love it.

"Don't worry - I want to. Turns out her teacher is a friend of mine."

Jacob looked up, surprised. "A friend? Someone from Phoenix?"

"Not exactly..." I leaned over the back of the couch and kissed his forehead. He sniffed, then stiffened and gave a low growl.

The next thing I knew both guys were on their feet filling the tiny room with their bulk, the gratuitous violence on the television forgotten. Jacob's face was filled with fury. Quil was at his shoulder, instinctively moving into attack formation, although I could see that he had not yet identified the threat.

"This _friend_..." Jacob twisted the word and spat it out "...did he touch you?"

I recoiled at the ugliness in his voice and felt my own hackles begin to rise.

"What if _she_ did?" I knew what he had assumed, so I emphasised the feminine pronoun. "Who are you to say I can't hug my best friend?"

In my peripheral vision I saw Quil's eyes dart to my face, then back to Jacob's. His instincts seemed to be telling him to stay put, but I could tell he didn't want to stick around if there was going to be a marital spat. I ignored his discomfort, keeping my eyes on Jacob. As I refused to break his gaze, the fire faded from his eyes, replaced with a cold hardness.

"I am your husband and the Beta of this pack!" The words made me feel slightly sick. He had never tried to pull rank on me before. Quil's attention was riveted on Jacob now. "Your loyalties are to us now. The leeches have no claim on you, no right to approach you. You will have nothing more to do with them."

The words were an order, and I could tell he expected to be obeyed. I gaped, unable to believe what I was hearing. Was he seriously trying to tell me who I could and could not be friends with? I wasn't one of his precious pack - I was his wife for Pete's sake! Surely my happiness should mean more to him than some ridiculous vampire-werewolf feud.

Tears began to well up in my eyes, but I tried to blink them away, hating to show any weakness. I made my voice unnecessarily harsh in a desperate attempt to stop it from shaking.

"Yes, you are my husband - not my jailor! Who are you to try to control my life? I will be friends with whomever I please, and you can stick your ridiculous prejudice..."

Words failed me, and I turned and stalked out of the room before the traitorous tears could undermine me. I threw myself on my bed and buried my head in my pillow. A few angry sobs ripped from my chest, but to my surprise the tears that pricked my eyes refused to fall. The back door slammed, and I thought I heard the tell-tale ripping sound of someone phasing to wolf form.

_How typical_, I thought. _Of course the first thing Jacob wants to do is tell the pack that the vampires are back! It doesn't matter how I feel..._

I knew I was being unreasonable, but I didn't care. I was sick of always being reasonable, of always doing what was best for other people. For once I wanted someone to do something for me!

There was a creak as the bedroom door slowly opened, and Jacob padded softly into the room.

"Bella?" he said uncertainly. I kept my head buried in the pillow. I didn't want to see the expression on his face. He knew I couldn't bear to see him unhappy, but right now I didn't want to let him make me feel sorry for my outburst.

"I'm sorry, Bells. That was out of line." I wanted to agree with him, but said nothing. I could feel my hostility diminishing at his contrite tone, but any softening was dispelled by his next words.

"I need you to understand why you can't be friends with them." There was desperation in his voice. "It's not only that it's a betrayal of everything we stand for. You know you are more important to me than anything, and they are so..."

"If you say dangerous I'm going to scream!" I said through gritted teeth. "You know as well as I do that the Cullens would never attack me, or any other human. They've spent nearly a century proving that."

"I wasn't going to say that." He paused.

"Well?"

"It just that...they're not good for you, Bells. I've never seen someone as broken as you were when they left. I can't bear to see you like that again! You're finally happy, and I'm not going to let some filthy bloodsuckers spoil that! The way I feel about them is not just prejudice - I hate them for what they did to you. There is no way I'm letting them back in your life. "

His frankness undermined all my intentions to punish him for the way he had treated me earlier. I still bridled at his assumption that he was entitled to make decisions about my life, but part of me could see where he was coming from. I rolled over to look at him, then took a deep breath and tried to explain.

"I get that, Jake. I really do. But I need you to trust me. I'm not the same person I was six years ago. I _am_ happy. I love _you_! But when I saw Alice today... I can't tell you how it made me feel. I missed her so much! I've never really had many girlfriends, but Alice understands me like nobody else. Please don't ask me to give that up. I promise I won't let myself get hurt."

I hated that I sounded so pathetic, but I knew Jake's imprinting would never allow him to deny me something I really needed. And I needed Alice. I hadn't realized how much until the moment Jacob told me I could never see her again. I could see the conflict in his eyes, as his love for me fought with his instinct to protect the pack. I tried again.

"I'm not asking you to let me bring her to the reservation. You'll never have to see her. But I need to you be okay with me spending time with her now and then - in Seattle, perhaps, or maybe Port Angeles."

He sighed. "I don't like it."

"I know you don't, but please trust me." I sat up and lifted a hand to his cheek, trying to both coax and reassure him.

"I do trust you. I just don't trust _them_." His eyes closed in anguish. I stroked his face, trying to erase the worry lines that had appeared on his broad forehead. He dropped his head to my shoulder and I lay back, cradling his head on my breast. I ran my fingers through his hair, willing him to relax. Eventually the tension began to drain from his body, and I knew the decision had been made. When he finally spoke, it was in a whisper.

"Okay, Bells. If this is what you need, I guess I'll have to cope with it. Just promise me you'll be careful."

"I promise. Thank you for understanding, Jake. I love you."

"I love you, too."

I kissed the top of his head, smiling into his hair. I had the funniest feeling that suddenly everything was right with the world.

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**A/N: Well, there you go. What did you think of Jake's reaction? More vampire action coming up in Chapter 8...**

**Thanks for reading! Can't wait to hear what you think!**

**xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello everyone. I'm really sorry about the update fail!! I am currently infanticipating, and was unprepared for the degree of exhaustion that accompanies the first trimester! However, I'm starting to feel better so hopefully I will be able to maintain a slightly more reasonable update schedule from now on. Fingers crossed, anyway... ;-)**

**Once again, a massive thankyou to JMeyer and the amazing Project Team Beta.**

**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Jacob kept his promise, and I appreciated the effort it cost him. None of the pack were very happy about the situation. Sam didn't speak to me for a full fortnight after that eventful trip to the skating rink. In fact, Seth and Quil were the only ones who didn't seem to care who I was friends with. Seth's acceptance of the situation did not surprise me - his pure soul seemed to be incapable of hatred. Quil was a more surprising ally. I had expected his concern for Claire to place him at the very head of the anti-vampire brigade, but I had reckoned without the infatuation the little girl had developed for her beautiful and graceful skating teacher, even after only one lesson. Some of the children had seemed a little scared of Alice - perhaps it was their natural instinct for self-preservation - but not so Claire. I guessed that it was difficult to intimidate a child who had been raised with werewolves, or maybe it was Benji's influence. Whatever the reason, Quil had been unable to bring himself to deny Claire the lessons she loved so much, and the glowing reports she brought him had slowly improved his opinion of my newly-returned best friend.

I had taken Claire to the rink every second week after that first visit. She wanted to go weekly, but I could not get away from the store that often, and of course none of the pack dared to take her. It was generally acknowledged, by both sides, that a healthy distance should be maintained between vampires and wolves. I was happy enough to acquiesce - it was enough that I was able to spend time with Alice and Jasper with the permission, if not the blessing, of my husband. So obviously Alice had never been to visit my home in La Push. She had, however, come to visit the store in Port Angeles a couple of times. The 80 miles was covered much faster by Alice's yellow Porsche than Jacob's Rabbit. Mostly because I obeyed the speed limits!

Today I was at the store, expecting another visit from Alice. Tuesdays were notoriously slow days, except in summer, and Alice had no commitments at the rink so she had decided to take the Porsche out for a spin. I had warned the pack, just case one of them decided to visit Port Angeles and panicked when they picked up the scent of an unexpected vampire. However, I had caught a glimpse of Seth when I popped out to mail a letter, so it seemed that at least one of the wolves wasn't that far away. If it had been anyone other than Seth it might have bothered me, but I knew I could trust him not to overreact when Alice arrived, so I was quite relaxed. I just felt sorry for the kid - he must have had better things to do with his day than keeping me under observation.

The yellow Porsche drew plenty of attention to itself as it drove into town. From behind the bookstore counter I could see people nudging each other and pointing and guessed that Alice was arriving. I wasn't sure if it was the car itself or the beauty of the occupant that was drawing the most attention.

Make that occupant_s_. As Alice pulled up outside the store I realized she wasn't alone. Esme sat in the passenger seat, her caramel curls peeking out from under a pastel pink scarf.

_Crap!_

I grabbed the phone and dialled home. Nobody answered, so I tried Quil. He answered on the second ring. I spoke quickly and bluntly.

"Hey, Quil, it's Bella. I need you to let Jacob know that there's two vampires in Port Angeles today - Alice has brought her mother, Esme. She's no threat, but I don't want him to worry when Seth checks in and lets him know there's two of them."

Quil understood immediately. "Sure, I'll tell him. I'll also let Seth know that he's going to have to work on his stealth technique."

I laughed. "Don't be too hard on the kid. I can't imagine he was jumping at the chance to waste a day watching me. It's completely unnecessary, you know that?"

"Yeah, I know. Still, if it makes Jake and Sam feel better..."

"I guess. Well, thanks for being my personal walkie-talkie."

"No problem. See ya."

I hung up the phone just as Alice danced through the door, dragging an apprehensive-looking Esme.

"Alice! Esme!" I ran around the counter and hugged them both. Alice looked a little smug - not an uncommon expression for someone who could see the future. Esme smiled and relaxed a little.

"Hello, Bella. It's lovely to see you."

"It's lovely to see you too," I echoed. "But how? Alice told me you and Carlisle were in Europe."

"We flew in yesterday. We wouldn't want to miss Alice's big performance." She put her arm around her adopted daughter and gave her a little squeeze.

"Ah yes, the Ice Show. Claire hasn't been able to talk about anything else for weeks. It's fantastic that Alice has been able to find her a part, even though she can't make half the rehearsals - I owe you one for that, Alice!"

Alice grinned at me. "No problem. She's a great kid. She might not have been skating long, but she's got more enthusiasm than most of my students put together. Having her in the show is good for morale."

I filed that away to tell Quil later. He loved it when anyone complimented Claire, and anything that might soften the wolves' attitude towards Alice was good in my book.

"She thinks you're pretty awesome, too. I think Quil's getting a little jealous."

We both laughed. Esme looked a little confused, but I decided it wasn't worth the effort of explaining so I just changed the subject.

"So have you got the costumes all sorted?"

Alice's eyes lit up, as I knew they would. I had a suspicion that the costumes were one of the reasons she loved figure skating. Once rehearsals for the Ice Show had started it hadn't taken me long to learn that she had a reputation for coming up with some of the best costumes in the State. Most of the parents were under the impression that she simply had good dressmaking contacts and combed the sales for fabric, but I suspected it had more to do with her unerring eye for style and her trusty black credit card.

"Almost, although there's still a few that are not quite right." She was already pulling the ubiquitous sketchbook from her hand bag. We spent the next 10 minutes poring over detailed sketches of the costumes she had dreamed up. I didn't have to pretend to be impressed - her skill really was amazing. I was looking forward to seeing her designs on the ice.

I tried to keep up with the conversation for as long as I could, but my attention wandered once Alice and Esme began an animated discussion about the rival merits of two types of trim I had never heard of. I idly flipped the pages of the sketchbook, marvelling at the skill of the artist as much as at designs themselves. Suddenly, I came across a drawing that did not seem to fit in with the rest of the 1940s-themed costumes.

In the picture a girl was standing on one skate, the other foot pointed towards the ice behind her. I assumed the dress was white, as Alice had shaded the background to emphasise the contrast, but the skirt was double-layered and the underskirt appeared to be a soft gold colour. It was short, as most skating outfits seemed to be, although slightly longer at the back than the front. The sleeves were long and fitted, but flared at the wrists and criss-crossed with what appeared to be golden crystals. More crystals cascaded from the neckline, which plunged almost to the waist but was modestly filled with a pale, sparkly mesh. Even on paper the outfit was stunning, and if the finished product looked anything like the drawing it was going to be a masterpiece of skating couture.

"Alice, who is this costume for?" I spoke without thinking, then realized I had interrupted her discussion. She didn't seem to mind, although she looked a little sheepish when she saw the drawing I was pointing to.

"Umm... it's mine, actually."

"Really? I didn't know that the coaches skated in the show!"

"They usually don't, but Alice and Jasper are doing a special exhibition." Esme's voice was full of pride.

"It's nothing, really." Alice was trying to sound nonchalant, but I could sense the underlying excitement in her voice. I realized I had never seen Alice and Jasper skate together, freed from the limitations of their fragile human students. No doubt it would be a sight to behold, even if they would have to reign themselves in a little in order to maintain their human charade. Suddenly I was really looking forward to Saturday!

"I'm sure it will be amazing! What music are you skating to?"

I expected Alice to launch enthusiastically into a detailed description of the program, but instead she just shook her head, an enigmatic little smile playing at the corner of her mouth. My curiosity was piqued, as she no doubt intended.

"Oh, come on - I want to hear all about it."

She just gave a tinkling laugh and shook her head again. I turned to Esme and raised my eyebrows.

"Don't look at me! She won't tell us anything either. You know how Alice loves surprises..."

I nodded wryly. After a few more attempts to extract information I finally gave up, and we spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about Switzerland, where Esme had been living for the past six months as Carlisle worked as a consultant with the World Health Organization. She mentioned that Emmett and Rosalie had been to visit them for a heli-skiing holiday. I could picture that - the four of them speeding down pristine slopes in some remote corner of the European Alps. I could almost hear Emmett's booming laugh as he and Rosalie raced each other down the mountain. I wondered who was fastest.

_Emmett hits the hardest. But Edward runs the fastest._

Esme's voice echoed in my head. I looked at her sharply, but she was busy describing the historic Alpine lodge that was her latest restoration project. For a moment I allowed myself the luxury of imagining Edward skiing - his bronze hair wind-blown into even greater disarray than usual, his tall frame bent forwards for maximum speed. He would definitely be the fastest...

I gave myself a mental slap and told myself to snap out of it. There had been a time when I had tortured myself constantly by wondering where Edward was, imagining him in every possible situation, with every possible "distraction". I was not that girl any more. It was enough to know that he was alive, and hopefully happy. Alice had told me he was back in Alaska, with Tanya and the Denali coven. Thinking of the meaningful way in which she had said Tanya's name caused me a momentary stab of jealousy, but I quickly reminded myself that it was a good thing he had found himself a suitable mate. Just as I had!

I forced myself to think about Jacob. My wonderful, loving, loyal husband. Jacob, who was probably right now dying to burst into the shop and drag me away from the hated vampires, but who cared enough to swallow his prejudice and allow me my friendships. Jacob, who had saved my life - literally when Victoria came after me, and figuratively when he helped me emerge from the poisonous swamp of my post-break-up depression. What had I done to deserve such a man? He even cleaned the house occasionally, and made a mean Thai beef salad...

The thought made my stomach rumble - softly, but loud enough for Alice and Esme to hear. They immediately began to fuss about the time, apologizing for keeping me from my dinner. For once, I didn't object, or try to prolong the visit. I was content in the knowledge that I would see them at the ice show on Saturday.

Right now all I wanted was to get back to Jacob, to snuggle in his huge arms. I wanted to forget everything - and everyone - except him and how much he loved me, and how much I loved him in return. All he wanted was me. Wonderful, uncomplicated Jacob.

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**Thanks so much for reading! I can't wait to hear what you think! :-)**

**xx**


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